( bold emphasis by Meranda )
Sid: My guest says he was so fearful he literally shook 24 hours a day and could only sleep one hour a night for three and a half years.
Sid: Hello. I’m Sid Roth your investigative reporter. It’s hard to believe. How can an intelligent family man, a manager doing well in his business, a Christian, loves the Lord, how does he just suddenly start shaking with fear and it just doesn’t stop every day. I mean, were you really shaking or just, what were you doing, Kris Vallotton?
Kris: I shook so bad I couldn’t get a glass of water to my face without holding it with two hands. I just trembled like an alcoholic, but I never drank a day in my life.
Sid: How did it start?
Kris: One night I came home from work, got in the bathtub. When I went to get out of the bathtub, my heart started pounding. I started shaking all over. I yelled for my wife. She came in the bathroom. She tried to help me out of the tub. I shook so bad I had no strength in my legs or any of my limbs and that lasted three and a half years.
Sid: But how do you survive on such limited sleep?
Kris: Oh it was terrible. I would get into bed at night and I was just trembling all the time. Kind of like an Irish Setter, I’d just tremble all the time. I’d get in bed at night and I would sweat profusely so bad that my wife would have to get up in the middle of the night. Finally, the sweat would cover her side of the bed. It would wake up in the middle of the night. She’d get up two and three times a night and just change the sheet because I trembled so bad. You know how just looney you get when you haven’t slept. And I went like that for three and a half years.
Sid: Did you take any legal drugs for this?
Kris: We called the doctor that night, of course late at night, probably 10, 10:30, 11:00 at night, we called our family doctor and he said, “Oh, it sounds like he’s had an anxiety attack.” And he told my wife, he said, “Go get him some alcohol. It will calm him down.”
Sid: Did you drink much?
Kris: I never drank. I’ve never, I took a drink from my grandfather’s beer when I probably eight, nine years old, never took drugs, never touched drugs, never smoked, never did dope, nothing. So we went out and we got, all we could find was wine. It was so late at night. Got a bottle of wine. I drank half a bottle of wine. All it did was make me sick. I still shook. Went the next day to the doctor and he gave me, he prescribed some tranquilizers. I took those one time and they just, they slowed me way down, but my shaking still continued and they really depressed me. So I carried them with me everywhere. In fact, I carried those pills in my pocket for three and a half years and never took them.
Sid: The pills depressed you.
Kris: Oh totally. They took me to depression and just slowed the trembling down. I carried them with me, but I never took them.
Sid: How could this happen to you?Everything is going fine and you become a mess in every area of your life. You know what happened?
Kris: I’ll tell you. When I was in the bathtub I had a thought. And this sounds crazy, but I had a thought, and I don’t know if anyone has ever had this happen to them. I had a thought that I was going to die. It was stronger than a thought, you know. It was like an obsession. Never had that before.
Sid: It’s kind of interesting. You told me that your dad died at a young age.
Kris: My dad, six months before he died, every night he would wake up and tell my mom, “I know I’m going to die, I know I’m going die, I know I’m going to die.” And my dad drowned when I was three years old. My dad was a phys ed teacher. My dad for UC Berkeley, played football for UC Berkeley, got drafted by the pros, but chose to finish his degree. Went into teaching, taught phys ed and drowned, as a phys ed teacher, in Anderson Dam, which is like drowning in a 10-times Olympic size pool, exactly six months after he started waking up saying he was gonna die.
Sid: So you just started getting this thought and then this fear came all over you. So you thought if you went to a small city maybe things would slow down the pace and everything would be okay. How did it work out?
Kris: Yeah. I was living in San Jose, California. Everything was, of course the Bay Area is just a busy, big city. I was managing a repair shop, 13 guys working for me, and I thought, well my problem is, is that I’m under all this stress. So I moved to a town called Lewiston, California, 800 people in the Trinity Alps. And what happened was instead of it getting better, it got worse. When everything around me slowed down, Sid, all it did is magnify what was happening inside of me. And when I got there, when I got to Lewiston, California, I started having visitations from demons.
Sid: What do you mean by visitations from demons?
Kris: I mean demons would actually come in my room. I mean, I would see them physically. They would come in my room, they would lay on my chest at night and I couldn’t move. I would be totally incapacitated. I would be like paralyzed from the neck down and I would be trying to scream and not able to talk. My wife would lean over and when she’d see me struggling, she’d say, “In the name of Jesus,And all of a sudden, I could literally feel them get off of me. They would move pictures in my room. They would move objects in my room. I mean, this was real.
Sid: How did your wife put up with this? I mean, how did you put up with it, but how did your wife put up with this?
Kris: My wife was amazing. She just kept saying, “You’re going to get well. You’re going to get well. You know, it’s interesting. My wife, I met my wife when she was 12 years old. We got engaged when she was 13.
Sid: You got engaged at 13?
Kris: We got engaged at 13.
Sid: Oh my goodness.
Kris: She waited five years. We waited five years to get married. We were married one year and she was pregnant with our first child, and I had a nervous breakdown. Just incredible.
Sid: So how did you get out of this trap? I mean, it sounds, I mean, it sounds like something you watch on TV. It doesn’t happen in real life.
Kris: It was, I prayed every day for the Lord to take me home. I received the Lord at 18, Sid. I was Christian. And in the paradigm that I had been taught in, Christians couldn’t be demonized. So I had an incredibly bad problem. One, I had a problem with demons visiting me. I had been taught that Christians couldn’t be demonized. And so I figured I was mentally ill. I had the worst thoughts. I would have actually visions in my mind, 40, 50, 60 times a day of murdering my wife, molesting my children, doing terrible, I mean, and I’m playing it down, doing terrible bizarre
things would happen. I would break out in sweat. This is 30, 40 times a day, I would break out in sweat. I would soak my shirt, soak my pants just from anxiety attacks. I got so fearful. I got claustrophobia so bad that we would be driving down the street in the winter and I’d have to have all the windows in my car. My friends would come to my house and then I’d go lock myself in the room and I’d tell my wife, get rid of them, get rid of them.
Sid: So you can relate and I can relate now from what you’re saying to me about these mass murderers, these people who go berserk because here you are a normal family person, everything fine, a Christian and you’re getting all of these thoughts. I guess the human mind can only take so much.
Kris: It was incredible. One night I’m in Lewiston, California. There’s almost no radio in Lewiston, California. All you’d get is just mostly get static. I couldn’t sleep, which was my pattern. I’d get up in the middle of the night, I’d pace the floor, I’d lay by the stereo, I’d turn on the stereo in our house and I’d lay there, and all I could hear was static. But there was a speaker on there and he was saying something about fear, which kind of caught my attention. So I’m laying on the floor and I’m laying by the speaker, put my head right on the speaker, and he quotes a scripture out of 1st Timothy. He says, “God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but love, power and a sound mind.”
Sid: Hello. Sid Roth your investigative reporter and it’s unbelievable this Kris Vallotton. I mean, shaking 24 hours a day, not able to sleep more than an hour or so every night. I mean, how long can this go on? And one day he just through static, he picks something up on the radio. He’d probably never find it again if he tried, and it’s this announcer said?
Kris: He said, “God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but love, power and a sound mind.” When he said “the spirit of fear”, all of a sudden it was like a revelation, like somebody pulled the covers back in Heaven and said, “You have a spirit of fear.” And all of a sudden, I don’t know how it happened, it was like someone was talking to me, but it was happening inside my mind. It was like the Lord said to me, “The thoughts you’re having are not your own.” You know, I was telling you about the visions and all the destructive thoughts I was having. The Lord said, “The thoughts you’re having are not your own.”
Sid: That’s important to realize that all thoughts that we have are not our own.
Kris: That’s right. That’s right. And of course, later on the Lord began to teach me that our thoughts come from four sources. Our spirit, because we have a spirit. We’re a spirit that has a soul that has a body. The Holy Spirit, which is God’s Spirit. Evil spirits, which I was being troubled with. And angels, which are spirits in God’s realm. And so but of course, I didn’t hear that then. But I heard the Lord say, “These thoughts that you’re having are not yours. They are not your thoughts.” Well that was the first time I ever felt like I’m not mentally ill. I’m under siege. I’m under attack. I’m oppressed by the enemy. And the Lord began to tell me that, and then he said, “But I’ve given you a sound mind.” Remember, I thought I was crazy. I thought I was going crazy. So that night, I asked the Lord, “What am I to do?” And the Lord said to me, “You confess that this fear is not from me and that it’s not part of your spirit, and you rebuke it.” I did that, it left. Just like that, it left.
Sid: Just like that, after all this time?
Kris: Why didn’t I do that three and a half years ago?
Sid: Yeah, why didn’t you?
Kris: I didn’t know. My people perish for lack of knowledge. I did not know.
Sid: It sounds too easy, Kris.
Kris: Let me tell you what happened. The next night I’m coming home from work and I’m like, I’ve had a whole day of peace. Right? I have not had a day of peace in three and a half years. The shaking stopped, my heart is not palpitating and pounding, the sweats are gone and I’m like, this is too cool. And I said, I’m driving home on a dark road, no street lights. We’re living in the Trinity Alps, in the mountains, and I said, out loud, I said, “I’m going to tell everybody about this. I’m going to tell everybody, you are a liar and your power is coming out of illusion.” And a voice came to me, and he said, “You tell anyone what’s happened to you, I will kill you.” And I started shaking, sweating, all the symptoms came back. I pulled over. I couldn’t drive. I pulled over on the side of the road and I’m just trembling again, all over again.
I’m like– Sid: Right back to square one.
Kris: Right back to square one. And all of a sudden this little tiny, small voice inside of me said this, “Does the devil hate you?” I said, “Yeah, he hates me.” He said, “How come he didn’t kill you when you received me?” I said, “I don’t know.” He said, “Because he can’t. His power is an illusion and he’s a liar, and he’s the father of lies, and he’s controlling you through his lying, but he has no power to do anything he tells you he’s going to do.” And I said, “You’re a liar, you get out of my life right now.” The shaking stopped, peace came over me and it was the beginning of a new day.
Sid: It sounds too good to be true, Kris. It sounds so easy.
Kris: It was a war, but it’s the truth.
Sid: I’m saying the way you got free to just come to the senses that it was an illusion, that it wasn’t you, it was a demon and then to command it to go, and it left.
Kris: Isn’t that amazing?
Kris: Jesus said this, he said, “You’ll know the truth and the truth will free you.” That word “truth” in the Greek is a word we get our word “reality” from. A lot of us live in a virtual reality. We’re living in a virtual reality. It feels real, it looks real, you know how the enemy sets up the smoke screen around us. It feels real, it looks real, he keeps us controlled by that spirit, but it’s not real. He keeps us controlled by a lie. Jesus said, “You’ll know the truth and the truth,” the reality that Jesus, “greater is he that’s in me than he that’s the world, the truth will free you.”